I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
