wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize