You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Randomize
