One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
jump out the window naked night went bad
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
