Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
