i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
