Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
