I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
