Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
