It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
