This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
this just has baby written all over it
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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