i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
