i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
