you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
