I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize