kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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