I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
