Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
