i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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