that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
