you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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