I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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