Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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