We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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