If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
