He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
