I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
