Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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