his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
