she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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