i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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