you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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