As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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