we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
