went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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