Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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