I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
