do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
