You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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