I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
