This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
