I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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