considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
