R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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