help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
How external is "for external use only"?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
BRING THE BAGELS
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
