I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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