God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
