we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
