Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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