Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
