You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
