But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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