You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Too much gin, very little bucket
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
