i jhust puked up my retainher.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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